Theo Von Quotes ShortQuotes.cc


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"Take a sandwich! You can eat by the cages." "99% of the time, this don't end hetro-sexually." "We were all semen, look how far we've come." "They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny." "Everything tastes like eggs. Theo Von, No Offense." "I could have been a dancer. I just never got my shot at it."


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Best 79 Quotes by Theo Von - Page 1 of 3 "A bridge is just a road that's brave as f*ck." Theo Von "A hat is just like a tiny apartment for your head." Theo Von "A plate is just a spread out cup." Theo Von "A PT Cruiser is like a hearse for midgets." Theo Von "A reindeer is just a gay moose." Theo Von "Anything could happen when you're daydrinking.


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"Theo Von Quotes" encapsulates a blend of humor, introspection, and candid observations about the human experience. In an era where genuine connection can sometimes feel elusive, Theo Von's words offer a refreshing reminder of the power of authentic storytelling and the importance of finding laughter in life's quirks and challenges.


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Explore a collection of witty and thought-provoking quotes by the popular comedian Theo Von. Discover his unique perspective on life, love, and laughter through these insightful and hilarious quotes. Get inspired and entertained by Theo Von's words of wisdom.


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Theo Von Share. If I could have anything, I would probably get an old Ford F-150 from the '70s. Theo Von Share. They're just jokes, people. They can't all be funny. Theo Von Share. I could have been a dancer. I just never got my shot at it. Theo Von Share. The 'Road Rules' thing was just something that happened.


Theo Von Quotes ShortQuotes.cc

FAVORITE TheoVon quotes? Where do I begin? Here is some off the top: My neighbor used to have a furcoat in the yard and dogs would come over and f*ck it Short and ugly? You gut dat double. I look like Tom Brady and Shrek Looking at Brad Pitt I used to work in a door. store Ever fuckin' eat Dove, bruh? Sort by: Add a Comment steezaleeze21


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Get ready for non-stop laughter with this hilarious compilation featuring the one and only Theo Von! Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride of comedic brill.


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Top 9 Quotes & Sayings by Theo Von Explore popular quotes and sayings by an American comedian Theo Von. Last updated on November 20, 2023. Theodor Capitani von Kurnatowski, known professionally as Theo Von, is an American stand-up comedian, podcaster, television personality, YouTuber, and actor.


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"I know where honey comes from…. from trees brother." "I look like Tom Brady and Shrek" "I never wanted to be a fish man, my whole life" (on Joe Rogan's podcast, had Jamie laughing too) "I was so hungry, I could hear a piece of bread fold from 80 feet away" "I wish I had white privilege. Sign me up.


Theo Von Quotes ShortQuotes.cc

Favorite Theo Von Quotes Mine is: "Have you ever been angry at a costume party? That's wrestling, dude." 87 Sort by: Open comment sort options Add a Comment Bondurant3 • 3 yr. ago "Fish are just damn.. uh.. water cattle" "She smelled like violence and tattoos" "I don't even think he was crippled they just never taught him to walk."


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"I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a realist with a sense of humor." Theo Von's Quotes on Life and Love Theo Von's quotes are not just funny, but also insightful. Here are some of his quotes on life and love: "Life is too short to be anything but happy." "Love is the only thing that can make you feel better when you're feeling down."


Theo Von They're just jokes, people. They can't all be...

The most thought-provoking Theo Von quotes that are Hilarious and Thought-Provoking. Following is a list of the best quotes, including various Theo Von inspirational quotes, and other famous sayings by Theo Von. Your toes are like ten small little Floridas just hanging off your body.


Theo Von Quotes ShortQuotes.cc

1. "Life is like a game of chess, except I don't know how to play chess, so it's more like Hungry Hungry Hippos." 2. "I'm trying to get in shape, but it's hard. The only thing I've mastered is the art of opening a bag of chips quietly." 3. "I once tried to do yoga, but my body was like, 'Nah, we don't bend that way.'" 4.


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Theo Von Quotes: Theo Von is a stand-up comedian who marches to the beat of his own drum. He has a wonderfully weird and unique perspective on life that comes through in his comedy routines and quotes. Let's take a look at some of Theo's most insightful, hilarious, and outright crazy quotes! Contents Show Deep Theo Von Quotes


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1. stiffspacebar • 1 mo. ago. "you could give this guy a mouthful of milk and 2 hours later it still ain't all down" in regards to a slow person. Or "mental" as he likes to say. 1. stiffspacebar • 1 mo. ago. He said some guy "drove around the neighborhood and picked all the kids up with a school bus. Never took em to school.